So while my sweetie and I were in Charleston last week, I reconnected with a dear college friend, K Cooper Ray. He’s the writer, creator and designer behind Social Primer, a company whose website is subtitled: Manners, Conversation, Style and Handling Your Liquor. (Never underestimate that last one!) He is also working on a book – The Bill of Rights for the American Man, an etiquette guide for men and THE book I will be giving to every senior boy I know. I was lucky to see an early draft version last week.
So driving home I started thinking about what I could do on L&L to promote Cooper’s book but at the same time not knowing exactly when it will be available. I also am asked questions about issues of etiquette from friends fairly often and so I was thinking about a series of lessons in manners when my sweetie suggested I start a Manners Monday. Things I Love Thursday has been pretty popular – at least in the number of hits – so I said, “Yes! I will do that!”
So, welcome to the first Manners Monday. First, why do manners matter? I guess let’s talk about what they are and what they are not.
Manners are guidelines – of sorts – to help us navigate what can sometimes be the treacherous waters of social interaction. And, they are also tools to help us appropriately demonstrate gratitude and give due respect when we need to. One doesn’t need money to have manners, and likewise no amount of money can buy them. (I’ve been charmed by gentlemen who were practically penniless and have been equally offended by the crudeness of the wealthy.)
Also, rules of etiquette should never be used to abuse or reprove someone who truly does not know better. I believe that most people want to behave well, and so in cases of offense, lead by example and I bet you’ll be surprised by how quickly folks catch on.
I already have a list of ten or so topics, but if you have a particular question, I’ll be glad to address that subject more quickly. In the meantime, I hope to meet you again at Manners Monday.
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5 Replies to “Manners Monday :: Introduction”
Love it!! Will be watching this intently and eagerly waiting for the book!
Manners Monday! Great idea! I especially like what you said in the next to last paragraph, “…rules of etiquette should never be used to abuse or reprove someone who truly does not know better…”
Did you ever watch “Designing Women”? Remember the episode when Charlene was nervous about meeting Bill’s family for the first time and what snobs they were?! One of my favorite quotes from that episode was by Julia – who else, right?! She said, “If there’s anything I cannot abide it’s people who use etiquette as a club with which to bash other people. The whole point of good manners is to make people feel comfortable.”
I’m looking forward to reading what you have to say about this each week!
Welcome to the world, baby girl! If there is any woman in this world I would turn to for advice on the civilized world, it would be thee. I am asked constantly to comment on such and such by women readers and my response in always the same. SP would never deign to tell a woman how to act. Now I will refer them to your Monday column. Best of luck and I eagerly await your entries. What a great reason to look forward to Monday!
Cindy, What a perfect quote, and it is dead on. Our manners should make people feel more at home in our company, not less. I appreciate your faithfulness to L&L. Yours Truly, E
Cooper, Thank you for stopping by. I’m delighted you’re here, and I’d be honored to answer questions any of your readers may have. Thank you for you good thoughts and wishes! Love, E