Call me homesick for a good read, but this favorite and familiar author – Alice Munro – came through for what ailed me. Her latest collection, Dear Life, was the recent selection for my book club and neither the book nor our discussion disappointed.

The primary section of Dear Life consists of ten stories – all typical of Munro’s style. She crafts believable characters in unremarkable situations to achieve thoughtful and real episodes of poignancy. Not unlike Flannery O’Connor who allows all of her main characters a moment of grace to accept or deny, Munro’s characters are given choices and the consequence thereof creates her story.

What makes this collection particularly interesting are the final four stories that are – by Munro’s admission – as close to autobiographical as any writing she ever plans to do. So for those who crave a glimpse into their favorite writer’s background, hoping to find the breadcrumbs for what makes a writer, these stories help to fullfil that longing.

Dear Life provided our book group one of the best discussions we’ve had in a  long time. Admittedly, we put more preparation into it than we typically do, but nonetheless, it worked. We divided the collection among four of us. We were responsible for writing a 2-3 sentence summary (so as to remind us all which story it was) and then note a couple of themes that tied them together. By the end of the evening, we had a list of ideas that tie the stories together.

Some of the themes we felt ran through many / most / all of the stories are:

• Fantasy vs. Reality
• Restraint vs. Freedom
• Traditional Roles for Women
• Isolation – both physical & emotional
• Cynicism, disparaging attitude toward anything religious
• Unrealized dreams
• Domineering / Controlling men
• Deception
• Physical handicaps, disorders, disease

If you are looking for a good read or your club is looking for a great source of discussion, I don’t think you can go wrong with Munro’s Dear Life.

Call me a skeptic. Young adult, pseudo-science fiction, 22-year-old author, first novel (OK, so I like first novels) – Jessica Khoury’s Origin was not shaping up to be my cup of tea. However, toss in that the author is from Toccoa, Ga. – my hometown – and I’m a little more engaged. Add that two readers I respect suggest it is better than Hunger Games (one being my mom) and despite the fact that I haven’t actually read the Hunger Games (see list of why not to read above), I’ll be glad to give it a fair shot.

Fair shot I gave, and boy did Jessica Khoury deliver!

Origin is set deep in the Amazon Rainforest on a compound where scientists have been working for more than a century to create an immortal race. They’ve succeeded in creating the first one – Pia – who knows that she is special, perfect. But because of who she is, she is also protected. Never allowed to venture from the compound (what is Amazon, San Francisco, a city?), Pia is curious about what is beyond. And when she discovers a hole in the fence on the night of her seventeenth birthday, she learns that what is there is so much more than she had expected or dared to hope for, including a boy, Eio.

Pia must then make a decision: stay where she is and help create a race where she will no longer feel alone or turn her back completely on everything and everyone she has ever known.

Origin is exceptionally written, and Khoury demonstrates wisdom beyond her years as her character grapples with relationships, the value of life, and what truly constitutes love. This is apart from the fact that she built such a plot that 40 pages from the end, I had to put the book aside because my heart was racing so, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

But Origin was waiting for me the next morning, and I eagerly devoured the end. Origin is a page turner that will also make you stop, think and contemplate your own values. From the first chapter on, its imagery and metaphors make it rich for discussion.

Bravo, Jessica! Well done! You’ve got a well-crafted work, and your hometown is very proud!

I’m a Tracy Chevalier fan. Since Girl with the Pearl Earring – one of my very first book club discussions – I’ve gladly picked up anything she’s written. I love the way she takes well-known art and constructs a narrative history around its creation.

The Last Runaway Chevalier takes a bit of a diversion – her first novel set in the U.S. – and while she does weave art into the story, it doesn’t take the front seat. The primary focus of The Last Runaway is the underground railroad.

The main character of The Last Runaway is Honor Bright, a young Quaker who immigrates from England to America with her sister in order to escape a veil of embarrassment and rejection from being left at the alter. After suffering nearly intolerable sea-sickness in her travel and the almost immediate death of her sister, Honor finds her self in a strange new place with few friends and even fewer reasons to be there.

Her one skill – and Chevalier’s nod to artistry – is quilting. Honor is quick, precise and creative, the latter not completely appreciated by the Quaker brethren. In the course of the narrative much is made of patterns and material, and some comparison between American and English styles of quilts. Her talent draws to her the attention of the one woman who becomes a true friend as well as the respect of another woman who eventually becomes her cohort and peer in the railroad.

I rarely say a book isn’t long enough, but for this one, I think it is the case. While Chevalier gives early hints, the plot of the underground railroad doesn’t truly begin until about half way through, and so I would have liked for her to expand that part. Also, for me Honor was not as engaging a character as some of Chavalier’s previous women. Again, it isn’t until about the last third of the book that she became really interesting to me.

In short, while this isn’t her best, fans of Chevalier will find this one quick, easy and worth the read.

*The Last Runaway is available January 8, 2013. I was provided an advance copy of the novel by her publicist to read for review. 

Since the holidays are upon us, I thought I’d take this opportunity to remind us of a few things to keep in mind as we celebrate with others:

1. Don’t arrive early. It is better to be five minutes late than five minutes early. The final 15 minutes before a party are crucial to your host. If you’re going somewhere unfamiliar and you are unsure of how long it will take to arrive, that’s fine. If you arrive early, drive around the neighborhood and enjoy the new scenery. Noting your hosts’ neighbors’ holiday lights will provide some additional light conversation.Which leads me to…

2. Arrive ready to talk. No one enjoys the awkward moments when the conversation goes dry. My friend Cooper at Social Primer has a great post about this so I won’t try to repeat it. Just go there and check it out.

3. Don’t arrive empty handed. Unless you’re contributing to the meal or food that is being served, bring a small token of your appreciation for your host. More about that as well here.

4. RSVP in a timely manner. Nothing is more frustrating for a host who is planning their week to prepare for a party than trying to figure out if they are gauging for 8 or 16 guests – and there is a huge difference. Make sure you reply to the invitation as quickly as you can after it is offered.

5. Write a thank you note. It is fine to jot it in your holiday card if you happen to be working on them the next day, but don’t neglect the art of saying thank you. There is also more about that rule here.

For more tips to help you brush up on your holiday etiquette, check out some of my previous Manners Monday posts.

Table Manners

Breaking Bread

Wait for Your Host

Setting a Table

Fruit of My Spirit: Reframing Life in God’s Grace is Deanna Nowadnick’s personal reflection on how God used various seasons in her life to grow the Spirit’s fruit. Her story isn’t revolutionary or extraordinary, and perhaps that is the true beauty of it. This is the Christian journey, the road of sanctification; God using experiences, people and circumstances to make us more like Him.

Deanna is married and has two boys. Her challenges are like many women – the responsibility of parenting, body image, identity in Christ, struggles with her own parents early on, chronic pain, etc. Each chapter is based on a different fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), and in that chapter Deanna walks you through the season or theme of her life that helped her to develop that quality.

At the end of each chapter is a prayer that Deanna prays to help her continue her growth in that fruit as well – and this is perhaps my favorite part of the whole book – the words to a church hymn that also speak to developing this quality in our lives. I currently attend a church that has a very contemporary worship style, and if there is anything I miss about a traditional service, it is these old hymn of my youth.

If you are in a time in your life when you’re trying to make sense of what God is doing, or if you’ve been there and you just enjoy sharing the journey someone else has had, you will enjoy Fruit of My Spirit. Deanna is honest, vulnerable and transparent about her fears and failures. But more importantly, she’s right on target about how God redeems our weaknesses for His Glory in our lives.

(To purchase, click on the link of the title in the first paragraph to go to Deanna’s website. She has links to purchase there.)

I’m going to skip a lot of the middle of 15 Laws in order to get to the end. This book comes out next week (October 2), and I want to finish my posts before that. Also, it is the final three chapters that spoke the most to me in this phase of my life.

If you haven’t read the previous posts about this book, you might want to do that. You can find the first post here.

In addition to reading this book, there has been a lot going on in my life that has me thinking about mentoring – both being mentored myself and mentoring others. This is what these last three chapters are about with the laws of Modeling, Expansion and Contribution.

The Law of Modeling discusses finding mentors. I’ve had two of what I consider “formal” mentors in the last ten years of my career. However, lately I’ve realized how much opportunity I have for informal mentoring. My current work environment allows me access to some incredible leaders, my own supervisor is only one of them. I’ve come to realize that I’ve been wasting valuable time and accessibility with these people, and that I need to be more intentional about learning from them. For this reason, I’ve started (1) scheduling time with them when it isn’t already scheduled and (2) planning for our time together including writing down questions and topics that I’d like to learn from them. As a result, I’ve had several valuable “coaching” sessions with people I consider excellent leaders.

The Law of Contribution elaborates on how you give back to others. In the mentoring program I’m involved in, we often hear from the mentors that they find the program as beneficial as the mentees do. I think that speaks to the heart of The Law of Contribution. Until I read this chapter, I didn’t think of myself as a ‘mentor.’ However, I realize that not unlike the informal mentoring opportunities I alluded to above, I often have informal opportunities to give back or develop other progressing leaders. That said, this is something I’d like to be more intentional about and perhaps seek to make myself available to someone as a formal mentor.

As I said in my first post about this book, this book is the perfect starting place for anyone who is wanting to grow but not sure how to go about it. If you don’t already have one, I would suggest buying a journal at the same time. Use the journal for completing the activities and as a place for reflecting on each law.

Good luck with The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. I’d love to hear from you if you decide to take this journey! Also, if you happen to live in the Atlanta area, John Maxwell will be speaking at 12Stone Church on Tuesday, October 9, to help launch the book plus an exciting companion opportunity. You can find learn more about the event here.

This is part three of a series on John C. Maxwell’s The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth that will be out in October 2012. If you haven’t read the previous posts, you can find Part One here and Part Two here.

At this point I’ve read through chapter seven, and the theme that is resonating the most with me is this: get started now. This cord runs through the chapters, beginning in chapter two, “The Law of Awareness” where Maxwell encourages his readers to get started even when they think they aren’t ready. He gives several examples from his own life of when he made commitments to do something before he was ready because he knew this would get him to where he needed to be.

In the next chapter, he continues with his advice of practicing small daily disciplines, stating that this is where your morale boosters will come from. (Not, as discussed in my previous post, from motivation.) Later in “The Law of Reflection” Maxwell admits that while all of this doing and discipline seems like a lot of trouble, the truth is, it is! And this is exactly what distinguishes successful people from those who are not. In “The Law of Consistency” Maxwell quotes E.M. Gray: “The successful person has the habit of doing the things that failures don’t like to do. The successful person doesn’t like doing them either, but his dislike is subordinated to the strength of his purpose.”

The initial part of this theme reminds me of advice I was once given by a mentor. I was trying to grow in my career and seeking a promotion. She had me write out everything I hoped to do and be in the role I wanted. Then she said a very simple thing. “Start doing those things, now.” It was incredibly simple and profound all the same. To achieve the role I desired, I just needed to take on the responsibility I wanted.

(A word of caution; with the wrong supervisor, this can be a dangerous impediment to a promotion. The wrong boss, when asking for a promotion after or in the midst of expanding your role and responsibilities, will want to know what additional benefit or value you’ll bring to deserve the advance, and not consider how you’ve already done this. At this point it may be time to find a new boss.)

So, get started & get started now. Waiting for “the right time” or “when you’re ready” will never come. And (I, not Maxwell) will say that it doesn’t matter that you’re not perfect all at once. (Maxwell sets the standard high: the goal is daily discipline.) With reading this book, I haven’t kept the pace I started, but I have kept on. And, while it isn’t every day, several times a week I’m going back and continuing working through the exercises Maxwell gives for developing the laws he’s advocating.

The beginning of the post is from Saturday, so if you haven’t read it, skip on over to it now.

In this first chapter, Maxwell delivers eight gaps that keep people from being intentional about development. One really resonated with me – “The Inspiration Gap.” In his discussion on this gap, Maxwell basically de-bunks the idea of motivation, quoting from another writer who calls it a trap. In talking about his own onset with growing intentionally he says,

I had only one reason to do it. I believed I should do it because I hoped it would make a difference. That certainly didn’t feel inspirational. But I started. To my astonishment, after a year of dedicated growth….it did make a difference. After that, I didn’t want to miss a single day!

I experienced this not too long ago with my spiritual quiet time. I’ve been off and on my whole life regarding a daily quiet time. My mother was a wonderful example of this, but I had never been consistent until 2010 when our pastor encouraged our church to read through the whole bible together in a year. One of the fallacies in my thinking prior to this year is that having a quiet time is only for Monday – Saturday; on Sunday, I can get my spiritual ‘fix’ at church.

But taking a year where I read the bible every day – even on Sunday – was profound for me. First I learned how much more meaningful corporate worship is after I’ve already had one-on-one time with God. Second, I learned that no matter how abstract I might think a certain portion of the Bible is, God can and will use it in practical ways in my life. (His word never returns void. Is. 55:11) There were definitely days when I approached my reading time with a “get ‘er done” attitude, but even then – and maybe because of those times – God transformed the way I approach my daily quiet time. In the two years since, I can echo Maxwell’s words quoted above, “after a year of dedicated growth….it did make a difference.” Now, I don’t want to miss a single day. (Though, of course I sometimes do. I am human.)

Another theme Maxwell begins in the chapter that continues on is Do it Now. Life is full of good intentions, and reading books like this one can breed a concept of early congratulations similar to what Rebekah Merkle wrote about recently in a post for Desiring God blog called The Nowness of Obedience. She is writing about how obedience can only be accomplished in the present. However, we all are guilty of having good intentions about doing something in the future (tithing, exercising, etc)…

…And then, after having thought something like this, have you noticed how perilously easy it is to then congratulate yourself on your obedience? After we imagine ourselves being righteous in the future, we then think of ourselves as actually being righteous. We pat ourselves on the back as if that obedience was a reality, when in actual fact, we’ve not done any such thing.

Maxwell warns his readers early on of falling into this trap and extols us to Do it Now. The difference between those who reach their potential and those who “die with songs still in them” is actually getting up and getting to work.

So what’s the plan? Maxwell suggest dedicating one hour every day to personal growth. For me, that starts with making a list of the type of activities that lead to personal growth. When I made the list, I realized that they boiled down to three types of activities – reading, writing, and thinking. Some of these overlap and support each other.

For example, for me to write a blog post about something I’ve read, I have to take time to think. I first need to marinate on the concepts, and then even that act of writing forces me truly articulate what I’m thinking about what I read. I recently listened to a podcast where Knox Chamblin (former RTS professor and one of my mom’s spiritual mentors who passed earlier this year) said that he doesn’t know if he fully understands a concept until he’s written out his thoughts on it. I’m like that too.

Now, I need to schedule time to do these. For me it won’t be a full one-hour block every day, but in 20, 30 or 40 minute “appointments” that I will intentionally write into my schedule. Some days this will mean waiting 20 minutes before I turn on my computer at work to think about and plan different parts of my day. Some days it will mean altering what I listen to on my way into work. And of course some days it will be simply (ha!) getting up earlier or going to bed later.

I know that as I write this, it won’t be long before this initial motivation is gone and what must be there to carry me through is daily discipline. “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it…” 2 Cor. 8:11.

This post is based on a presentation I created for work regarding business email etiquette, but many of the same principles can be applied to personal email as well.

First, there are a few things you should already know, but just incase you’ve been living under a rock:

• Don’t SCREAM. In the electronic world, all caps is the equivalent of shouting, and we all know that it is impolite to shout.
• Word messages carefully. Sarcasm can be easily misread, so use it sparingly and only in situations where you know it will be understood as such. I was recently guilty of this in a group email and felt horrible that a dear friend had misunderstood a comment I had made in jest.
• Use punctuation and abbreviations sparingly. Similar to wording, excessive punctuation can be easily misunderstood. And since email is not a text message and you have more than 140 characters to convey your message, don’t risk having to explain yourself by using abbreviations birthed from texting.
• Proofread before sending, especially on smart phones and when sending group emails. Rule of thumb, re-read your message for every person you are sending it too. (Obviously not for very large groups.) But if you get into this habit, it will save you embarrassing mistakes.
• Use appropriate “Out of Office” messages. Don’t think of “Out of Office” messages as only for extended PTO; use them when you are away from your desk for an all-day meeting. They can help set appropriate expectations for those who are trying to reach you, and may even encourage the person trying to reach you to find another source for their question.

However, there are some other instructions that may also help you use email more efficiently and effectively:

• Make messages readable. Emails should be concise. Use short sentences. If you are writing an email that is very long, you may want to consider another vehicle for communicating. Also, use fonts that are easy to read. You should never use a script or handwriting font for an email message.
• Use Cc and Bcc appropriately. Only include those in the message who really need to know. Don’t use “Cc” as “CYA.” Also, if you are sending a message to a large group, put those names in the Bcc; this way, if someone accidentally “replies all” it won’t go to the whole group, just the person it was sent to.
• Speaking of “Reply All,” use it sparingly. Think of the impact to the group if every person replied once, and “fill others’ inboxes as you would want yours to be filled.”
• If you are involved in a group strand of emails, make sure you’ve read the most recent email in the strand before you reply. You may be answering a question already given. Again, think of others’ inboxes.
• A signature is not a resume. A signature should provide necessary contact information. An organizational logo, brief quote or one-line message can help support your brand, but don’t list every diploma or accolade you’ve ever received.
• Email is not instant messaging, nor is it snail-mail. An email should be replied to within 24 hours or one business day. If you need a response more quickly, pick up the phone. If you can’t give an answer to an email within a day, at least send a response that says, “This will take some time. I’ll get back to you by X date or time.”

Your email messages are an extension of your personal brand, particularly in the office setting. So, be cognizant of what your email is saying about you, present yourself well by delivering the best message possible.

John C. Maxwell is a man after my heart. I’ve loved everything I’ve read by him, but with The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, he’s honed in on one of my passions – practical instruction for personal development. In this book, Maxwell is articulating so many ideas that I’ve had a sense of and know to be true while at the same time pushing me further and deeper than I’ve gone before.

I have stopped requesting ARCs because I’ve gotten so behind in my reading, but when my friend Sarah showed up at our lunch date yesterday with this one, I gladly accepted it. While it is meant to be read slowly – Maxwell suggests a chapter a week in his intro – I couldn’t stop myself, and so I read the first four chapters last night.

Several years ago I wrote the curriculum for a 12-month mentoring program for the women’s affinity group within my organization. It matches women who want to grow personally and professionally with higher level leaders in our organization and then gives them a scripted plan to follow for a year. I also serve on the committee that reviews the applications and decides who will be accepted into the program. One of the hardest conversations to have is with those potential mentees who are not accepted. Maxwell just made it easier, because this book is the perfect solution for anyone wanting to grow but not knowing where to start. (It will also be an a awesome companion for our curriculum, as so far many of the activities are much in sync!)

In each chapter of this book Maxwell explores one of his 15 Laws and then gives practical exercises for the reader to complete pertaining to that law. His first chapter is The Law of Intentionality, which is basically the premise of this book on growth – you don’t grow without tackling  things with time and effort. Any coach will tell you the way to get stronger, faster, more agile is to practice. You don’t show up on Friday night, Saturday or Sunday afternoon to win a football game without having put in the work ahead of time. This is why my brother’s football team requires summer workouts.

Life is very much the same, Maxwell says. In order to reach your full potential, you must be intentional about doing the hard work. These 15 Laws make up the playbook.

Because I can already see this post shaping up to be a long one, I’m going to stop here and I’ll pick up very soon with the most valuable insight for me from chapter one; so expect a series of posts on this book. Yes, I think it is that good.

And, lest you think me guilty of not following Maxwell’s advice, last night while I was reading (too quickly) through the first part of the book, I did mark the activities from each chapter that I needed to do & started them this morning before I wrote this post. I’ll share more about those later as well.